What I didn't know then..

If you would have told me five years ago that I would be a military wife, who has moved across the country and back four times, endured two deployments, had a child while my husband was at war and played mommy and daddy all by myself, I would have laughed in your face. You see, five years ago I had my life "planned out". And now that I sit back and think about it, I'm sure the man upstairs was looking down laughing at me because he had a completely different plan in mind and boy...am I glad.


Shortly after my senior year of high school, all my plans that I had made completely diminished. Little did I realize that would be the beginning of the rest of my life, that was the point that I learned that I needed to put my faith in God and know that he's got a bigger plan for me. If there is one thing I have learned being the wife of a man in the military, it is that things are totally and utterly out of your control. For someone who loves to plan the next step and be on top of the game, it's definitely a hard adjustment; you've just got to 'go with the flow'...easier said than done, I know.


However, because I have learned to 'Let go and Let God' I am in the best place that I've ever been in, in my entire life. I've been blessed with the most amazing husband. One who puts his heart and soul not only into our relationship, but into his job; a job that he willingly sacrifices so much of his every day life so that he can support our ever growing family. And for that, I cannot thank God enough. We have an amazing relationship, one that continues to grow every single day. I can put my faith and trust in him and know that he puts all of his into me. It's an awesome feeling to be able to do that and to have your best friend, your soulmate, your rock all wrapped up into one person. He has given me the best gift I could have ever been given...our son Abbott.


Abbott...where do I even begin. He is one of the reasons that my world turns. He has already taught me so much in the past nine weeks of his life than he could ever imagine. I would give anything if his daddy could be here to watch him grow, but while his daddy is out being a hero, mommy will make sure he watches him grow through every picture she can possibly snap. It has been a challenging journey not having my husband here for the birth of our first baby, as I know it is for him. It's another one of those situations in our journey through this life that I've had to let go and let God and know that he knows what he's doing and has a bigger purpose for it all. I know my husband is needed right now and to willingly go without complaint, makes me undeniably proud to call him my husband.


If I could write a letter to me, I would make sure to remind myself that it's okay to relax, enjoy every moment,  live for today and dream about tomorrow. Life is too short to constantly worry, so hug a little harder, kiss a little longer, love a little better and know that the man upstairs has it all figured out.

Sometimes you've just got to learn to let go.......and let God<3


Until next time...
Mrs. Truelove

appreciate every breath..

Appreciation. Remember that thing your parents always told you about? The thing that you would learn at some point in your life and you would "appreciate" everything that they've done for you. Turns out, they were right. It may not have happened the way they had thought; hitting some sort of rock bottom where everything seems to be going the wrong way, and at that point you start to appreciate them. No, it didn't happen that way. It happened because of a little thing called The Marine Corps.


I haven't hit a rock bottom, but I've had my world taken away from me for seven months. Seven months of long, restless, worrisome nights. Never knowing whether he's alive, whether he's okay, if he's upset, if he's happy. Seven long months of hearing about deaths of people that came way too soon, deaths of people trying to do better for this world, trying to do right for people who can't even help themselves. When you live this lifestyle, the military way of living, I think you start to learn to appreciate things a lot more. You never really know if tomorrow will be there, you never know if you will see your loved one again or hear the voice you long for again. I can promise you, if we hadn't been brought down this journey, I wouldn't appreciate life the way I do now.


I appreciate life. I appreciate my husband. I appreciate our relationship, our love, our honesty with each other, our faithfulness. I appreciate the good morning's, the I love you's, the smiles, the laughs and everything in between. I appreciate my family. I appreciate my faith. I appreciate my friends and the bond that we've created that others can't even begin to fathom; the true friendship so many search for. You even appreciate the bad times, because it is in those trying times, you prove to yourself that you can do things you've never thought possible. You are stronger than you think. 


It's been a journey of ups and downs that the Marine Corps has led us on, but I appreciate every second. I appreciate every second because it has only made us stronger, it has only made us wiser, love harder, kiss longer and hug a little tighter. I know without the love we share, the people we have close and the faith we have in our relationship, in each other and in God, we wouldn't have made it through the most trying times of our lives.

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all other."

Baby jitters..

Being nervous is normal and seems to conincide with being a first time mom. Will my baby be okay? Will he be healthy? Will he be happy? Am I doing all of the things that I should be doing to keep my baby happy? It all seems like those are normal concerns about first time mom's and pregnancy/their child. 

But there are a few more things that I am nervous about that aren't so common with your ordinary first time mom. I'm nervous about packing up and moving 600 miles away when I'm 8 months pregnant and my husband is going off to Afghanistan for the second time in less than a year. There's no doubt that I will be much better off back at home where my family is when this baby comes into the world, but what about my husband? He's going to be 8000 miles away in a foreign land, not holding my hand, not feeding me ice chips, not massaging my back or feet as I'm cringing in intense pain. I'm nervous about doing it without the love of my life, I'm scared. Not only for me, but him. I KNOW he's going to want to be there, but he hasn't mentioned it much thus far, because I know he's not letting himself think about it. I don't want him to feel like he's missing out, I don't want him to not have a bond with this baby because he wasn't there to see the miracle come into the world, when he was the one that created the miracle to begin with. 

And then there's the thought of our baby doing his most critical development without his daddy there. Smiling, Jabbering, finding his toes, beginning to teeth, beginning to sit up, roll over. My husband has dreamed of this baby before we were even married, he would talk about how badly he wanted us to have a baby and I know he'll be a great daddy, I see that as he interacts with our nieces and nephews, it's beautiful. 

I know when my husband sees our baby for the first time, he will fall so in love, nothing of this will cross my mind. Until then, until that moment, I'm going to cherish every moment that we have together, with our little miracle in my belly. And once the baby is here, I'm going to be one of "those" moms that doesn't get out from behind the camera, strapping one to my head to make sure and capture every special moment for daddy, while he's out saving the world.

Four months and a bun in the oven later...

Where to begin? The last time I wrote was 9 days before I jumped into my husbands arms after being separated for 7 long and dreadful months. Here we are, almost 5 months later and so much has already changed.

We are expecting our first bundle of joy on February 18th, 2011. We were more than excited to find out that we were going to have a baby. It felt like after two months of it not happening, that it just wasn't going to; but once I go back and think about it, we were so blessed to have gotten pregnant after two months when some wait for years. 


We are already working up for another deployment in January again. So that means...yes...my husband and father of our baby will not be here to see the birth. I don't think it has hit him yet, I don't think he has let himself think about it too much, but he's not excited about missing all the "firsts". First smile, first laugh, first roll over, first night at home. No matter how far away daddy is, he will always be with us. I will do my best to make sure that every moment is captured on tape for him so that even 7,000 miles away from home, he'll still feel as if he's right here with us. It will be one of the hardest things we have ever done, yeah we've done it before, but that was without a child of our own. This time will be a little more trying, but one thing is for sure..that will be one moment both of us will never forget: Daddy meeting baby for the first time. I better get the camera crew ready!


I have learned so much in the past year and a half of our marriage than I have in a lifetime. Love is patient. You only have that handful of people that you can truly count on, but when you need them...they will be there. You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option that you have. And no matter what life throws you, no matter how hard times seem, no matter how dark it seems...Love Never Fails<3


Until next time...


Mrs. Truelove

All you need is love..

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

There couldn't be more truth in that quote. I know if it wasn't for my husband, the love he has for me and the love that we share, there is not a chance I would have gotten through this deployment. It was that love that gave me the strength to get up and get on to the next day, and it was the love I have for him that gave me the courage to face all of the fears, the nights that are so lonely it haunts you, and all of the tears that come at the sight of a letter from that far away land or the image of a Marine on the television that develops a pit in the bottom of your stomach. No matter what it was, the love that we share is what got not only me, but him through this as well.

The past few days have been stress filled and it's not been fun at all. The future, the unknown, it's all a little terrifying in ways. What am I going to do? Am I going to be good at it? Is my husband going to be proud of me? How's it going to happen? All questions that run through my head. When I finally get outside of my head and calm myself down, I know that everything is going to be fine because...all you need is love. I have that love. I have my husband. That's all I need to get me through this life. We can do it and we will do it. I can't wait to ride out this journey of life with my husband by my side, hand in hand. He makes me the best person I can be, he supports me in all of my hopes and dreams, he's the reason for all of my hopes and dreams and for that I am eternally grateful.

Today's a great day. Single digits baby, single digits until our puzzle is complete again =) I CANNOT WAIT to hold my husband again!! Almost here, thank you Lord!

Mrs. Truelove<3

A woman of few words...

I'm a woman of few words tonight. I've wracked my brain as to what I should write about, but there's not a centralized thing I can focus my brain on right now. All I know is....I want my husband. That's it. I just want my husband back. I want to be able to hold him, I want to go to sleep beside him, feeling his heartbeat and knowing he's safely beside me and that he WILL be there in the morning. This all still seems like a dream to me. Almost down to single digits until I see my husband, until I'm complete again, it feels all too surreal. Someone please pinch me. All I know at this very moment in time, I just want my husband back.

I've been going through all of our old pictures, these pictures, these memories is exactly what has gotten me through all of my lonely nights.

Look at that smile...I miss that gorgeous smile.

I miss those amazing kisses.

I miss us.

I miss holding his hand.

I miss that embrace.

I miss all the little things, I never thought that they'd mean everything. 

Yeah, I miss you and I wish you were here.

Good night handsome, another lonely night conquered.

Mrs. Truelove<3

Crazy girl

I heard this on the radio today, first time I've heard it, but I LOVE it. Reminds me of something my husband would tell me <3

Baby why you wanna cry?
You really oughta know that I
Just have to walk away sometimes
We’re gonna do what lovers do
We’re gonna have a fight or two
But I ain’t ever changin’ my mind

Crazy girl, don’t you know that I love you?
And I wouldn’t dream of goin’ nowhere
Silly woman, come here, let me hold you
Have I told you lately?
I love you like crazy, girl

Wouldn’t miss a single day
I’d probably just fade away
Without you, I’d lose my mind
Before you ever came along
I was livin’ life all wrong
Smartest thing I ever did was make you all mine

Crazy girl, don’t you know that I love you?
And I wouldn’t dream of goin’ nowhere
Silly woman, come here, let me hold you
Have I told you lately?
I love you like crazy, girl

Crazy girl

Crazy girl, don’t you know that I love you?
And I wouldn’t dream of goin’ nowhere
Silly woman, come here, let me hold you
Have I told you lately,
I love you like 

Crazy, girl, don’t you know that I love you?
And I wouldn’t dream of goin’ nowhere
Silly woman, come here, let me hold you
Have I told you lately?
I love you like crazy, girl

Like crazy
Crazy girl
Like crazy
Crazy girl
Like crazy



Mrs. Truelove<3


I love you like crazy, baby.