Being nervous is normal and seems to conincide with being a first time mom. Will my baby be okay? Will he be healthy? Will he be happy? Am I doing all of the things that I should be doing to keep my baby happy? It all seems like those are normal concerns about first time mom's and pregnancy/their child.
But there are a few more things that I am nervous about that aren't so common with your ordinary first time mom. I'm nervous about packing up and moving 600 miles away when I'm 8 months pregnant and my husband is going off to Afghanistan for the second time in less than a year. There's no doubt that I will be much better off back at home where my family is when this baby comes into the world, but what about my husband? He's going to be 8000 miles away in a foreign land, not holding my hand, not feeding me ice chips, not massaging my back or feet as I'm cringing in intense pain. I'm nervous about doing it without the love of my life, I'm scared. Not only for me, but him. I KNOW he's going to want to be there, but he hasn't mentioned it much thus far, because I know he's not letting himself think about it. I don't want him to feel like he's missing out, I don't want him to not have a bond with this baby because he wasn't there to see the miracle come into the world, when he was the one that created the miracle to begin with.
And then there's the thought of our baby doing his most critical development without his daddy there. Smiling, Jabbering, finding his toes, beginning to teeth, beginning to sit up, roll over. My husband has dreamed of this baby before we were even married, he would talk about how badly he wanted us to have a baby and I know he'll be a great daddy, I see that as he interacts with our nieces and nephews, it's beautiful.
I know when my husband sees our baby for the first time, he will fall so in love, nothing of this will cross my mind. Until then, until that moment, I'm going to cherish every moment that we have together, with our little miracle in my belly. And once the baby is here, I'm going to be one of "those" moms that doesn't get out from behind the camera, strapping one to my head to make sure and capture every special moment for daddy, while he's out saving the world.
Oh! My heart goes out to you! I'm young myself, never have had a child, so I don't know much about babies... But I believe you'll be just fine. I bet it is scary being by yourself, but just trust in God and all will work out. Do you have your mom or mom-in-law around to help when the youngster comes?
ReplyDeleteHope all goes well! Stay strong!
Much love x
Aww Audreeeyy! This made me tear up. I know you will do fine. Your an awesome person. Most women don't have maternal instincts until their baby is born and you already have those instincts! And just take a billion pictures! That's what I have been doing! God will never give you more than you can handle! And in the end, when hes home, you will look back on everything you accomplished. And your hubby will be like, "Damn, she is one awesome wifey and momma!!!"
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