Guess whaaaaaaaat!?!
Today is the last day of February...THAT'S WHAT!
Yes, that is a very, very, very exciting thing to be saying; this means that I get my husband home soon, and I for one, cannot wait until I can lay in bed with him next to me again. So Megan came down Thursday and left today. It was great having her here. I'm pretty sure every other sentence out of our mouths was "I can't wait until my husband is home." and believe me, there couldn't be more truth in that statement. Besides that, all we could talk about was our husbands; the way they look, the way they talk, the things that we love and the distance that we hate. And with every word, I smiled. I smiled because my husband is my life. He's my world and before I met him I never thought it was even possible to love someone or to be loved be someone as much as I love him and the amazing love that he has for me.
On the one day that he told me not to expect a phone call, he called me<3 It was perfectly amazing waking up to that voice and seeing that number pop up on my phone. I'm telling you, even when he's not trying, that boy truly amazes me. haha I remember when him and I first started dating, I would go to school and tell my friend about him and literally the only adjective I could use to explain him was "amazing". That feeling has yet to fade; and I honestly, without a doubt, cannot ever see the day that I don't look at him as if he's the person that hung the moon, because in my eyes, he always will be.
Ohhhh lord, all of these mushy feelings....I love them. I love my husband, I love everything he is, everything he wants to be, all his dreams, all his hopes, I love who he makes me, who he makes me want to be. I love our life. Yeah, people probably think it's crazy to love a lifestyle that takes your husband away from you for 7+ months at a time...and yeah...it probably is. But I love our life because its OUR life and that means more than anything in this world to me. He is the best part of me.
Goodbye February, now onto my husband. Bring it March...I'm ready for you.
Mrs. Truelove<3
P.S. I love you.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I see you
I guess I should go ahead and apologize for the insane amount of "mushiness" that comes with this blog. I absolutely love, hands down, no doubt about it, love mushy, lovey dovey things. Maybe it's because of the way my husband makes me feel; or maybe it's the way I feel about him; or possibly the way that I long for that feeling when he's gone for so many lonely nights. Whatever it is, I love it.
So I heard that angelic voice this morning. Of course, that's the most perfect way to start off your morning when you're 7000 miles away from the one person you want to wake up next to. It was nice to hear his voice, when I first answered I heard that smile in his voice..."heyy!" It melted my heart instantly. I wish I could put into words the happiness that man brings me even while he's 7000 miles away. Hearing him say "I love you baby" or "no you don't understand how much I miss you." makes all of the time that we have to spend apart worth every second.
It's pretty crazy how you can watch a movie or a television show and literally feel your insides hurting when you see a couple kiss, because you long so badly for that moment. I see you in those kisses. I see you in the empty spot lying beside me every morning when I wake up and every night when I toss and turn fighting to fall asleep. I see you in the sunrise and the sunset that I always loved to watch as I was wrapped in your arms. I see you in the ring upon my finger, the ring that I always touch just to feel a little closer to you. I see you in all of our photos on the wall, the ones that make this empty house feel a little more like a home. I see you at the empty spot when I'm eating supper. In the empty spaces between my fingers, that's where I see you, because that's where your fingers are meant to be. I see you in all of the quotes about love that I read, the ones about happiness too. Because with you, I know what true happiness is. I see you in the words truth, strength, courage, commitment, honor, HERO, because those are all the things that you stand for.
I see you in all of these things, I see you in everything that surrounds me and I can feel you beside me through it all. You are my best friend. You are my strength and courage that has gotten me through this huge mountain that has been placed in front of us. I thank God for the gift of you every day and for the day that you will return to me and I will be able to see you, face to face again. I can't wait until that day. Until then, know that I am right here waiting for YOU just like I promised I would be.
I see you in all of these things, but the one thing that I see you in the most...is me; because you've made me who I am today and you make me want to be a better me. For that, I am eternally grateful.
I'll see you soon handsome. I love you, to the end of the Earth and back.
So I heard that angelic voice this morning. Of course, that's the most perfect way to start off your morning when you're 7000 miles away from the one person you want to wake up next to. It was nice to hear his voice, when I first answered I heard that smile in his voice..."heyy!" It melted my heart instantly. I wish I could put into words the happiness that man brings me even while he's 7000 miles away. Hearing him say "I love you baby" or "no you don't understand how much I miss you." makes all of the time that we have to spend apart worth every second.
It's pretty crazy how you can watch a movie or a television show and literally feel your insides hurting when you see a couple kiss, because you long so badly for that moment. I see you in those kisses. I see you in the empty spot lying beside me every morning when I wake up and every night when I toss and turn fighting to fall asleep. I see you in the sunrise and the sunset that I always loved to watch as I was wrapped in your arms. I see you in the ring upon my finger, the ring that I always touch just to feel a little closer to you. I see you in all of our photos on the wall, the ones that make this empty house feel a little more like a home. I see you at the empty spot when I'm eating supper. In the empty spaces between my fingers, that's where I see you, because that's where your fingers are meant to be. I see you in all of the quotes about love that I read, the ones about happiness too. Because with you, I know what true happiness is. I see you in the words truth, strength, courage, commitment, honor, HERO, because those are all the things that you stand for.
I see you in all of these things, I see you in everything that surrounds me and I can feel you beside me through it all. You are my best friend. You are my strength and courage that has gotten me through this huge mountain that has been placed in front of us. I thank God for the gift of you every day and for the day that you will return to me and I will be able to see you, face to face again. I can't wait until that day. Until then, know that I am right here waiting for YOU just like I promised I would be.
I see you in all of these things, but the one thing that I see you in the most...is me; because you've made me who I am today and you make me want to be a better me. For that, I am eternally grateful.
I'll see you soon handsome. I love you, to the end of the Earth and back.
"You know how I know we're going to make it? Because I still wake up every morning and the first thing I want to do is see your face." - Gerry Kennedy; P.S. I love you
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Dream a little dream of me
It's amazing how dreams can take your breath away in so many ways. The past three nights I have had continuous dreams about my husband, homecoming, and the undeniable passion that we share. These dreams feel so real; so right, so present as if he's right next to me. I can feel his skin, I can feel his kisses and see those beautiful brown eyes staring at me. That alone...takes my breath away. I get that feeling of happiness that he gives me when he's near me, just being in his presence makes me the happiest girl on the face of the Earth. And then, there's the other feeling of breathtaking. Not the one filled with butterflies and intense happiness. No, this breathtaking is the one where it feels like the wind has been knocked OUT of you. It's that moment when you wake up and reality hits you like a ton of bricks. He's not laying next to you, he's not holding you, you can't see those beautiful brown eyes and you still aren't even sure when that's going to happen. Yeah, that's the downside of these dreams. They feel all too real and then you wake up to your dreams being..well, just that..your dreams.
But it's these dreams and seeing my husbands gorgeous face for a split second, feeling that embrace that I long for every night, touching him, and holding him that keeps me going; knowing that no matter how I look at it, every time I wake up from those dreams, I am just a day closer to having that dream be my reality. And soon enough...well maybe not soon enough for my sanity...but soon enough I will have that reality and I will never let him go...ever. So until then, I'll pray that I see him in my dreams every night and I'll be right here waiting, just like I promised I would be.
Mrs. Truelove<3
But it's these dreams and seeing my husbands gorgeous face for a split second, feeling that embrace that I long for every night, touching him, and holding him that keeps me going; knowing that no matter how I look at it, every time I wake up from those dreams, I am just a day closer to having that dream be my reality. And soon enough...well maybe not soon enough for my sanity...but soon enough I will have that reality and I will never let him go...ever. So until then, I'll pray that I see him in my dreams every night and I'll be right here waiting, just like I promised I would be.
"you want to know what happiness is? it's waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. you turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, andvulnerablestate. they breathe as though the weight of the world lies on anyone’s shoulder but their own. you smile,kisstheir face in the gentlest manner so as not to wake them. you turn back around and involuntarily a grin forms on your own face. you feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn't get any better than this."
Mrs. Truelove<3
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Love is not a fight
Love is not a place
to come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
then commit to never leave
So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
Work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees
Love is a shelter
in a raging storm
Love is peace
in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave;
May God send angels to guard the door
No, Love is not a fight
but its something worth fighting for
To some love is a word
that they can fall into.
But when they're falling out
keeping that word is hard to do
Love is a shelter
in a raging storm
Love is peace
in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave;
May God send angels to guard the door
No, Love is not a fight
but its something worth fighting for
Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us
but demand we give our all
Love is a shelter
in a raging storm
Love is peace
in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave;
May God send angels to guard the door
No, Love is not a fight
but its something worth fighting for.
Cause I Will Fight For You
Would You Fight For Me
It's Worth Fighting For.
I absolutely LOVE this song. I watched Fireproof tonight. It is one of mine and Alex's top ranking movies. Yeah so maybe it was poorly produced, but it had one hell of a meaning behind it. I don't think that many people look at marriage that way these days. I don't think they see it as the vows portray marriage to be; "For better or worse.".."through the good times and bad". It's not "yeah, I'm in this marriage when it's easy, or when it's convenient." You're in the marriage through the good times, the bad times, whether happy or sad. That's what it's all about, the journey that you two make together. That's what makes you stronger and that's what makes the love last forever. I feel like too many couples now look at it as 'oh if this doesn't work, we'll just get a divorce.' No, you don't just go get a divorce. It makes marriage look like such a nonchalant thing, something that doesn't have depth, meaning, love and sacrifice behind it.
The movie takes every aspect and puts into perspective how important it is to a marriage. It's not the big things, it's the small things that hold it all together. It's putting your complete faith into someone and trusting them with your whole heart. It's giving a little and not expecting to get anything in return. It makes me look at myself and the kind of wife I've been and reminds me that I can always strive to do a better job at letting my husband know how much I appreciate all that he's done and doing those little things that let him know that he does mean the world to me and that this life wouldn't be much worth living if I wasn't doing the journey by his side. I can't wait until he is home again so that I can be the best wife that I can possibly be and to make up for the past seven months that we have missed out on being together. It's so soon I can almost taste it, almost there but not quite yet. It's such a tease, but I can't wait to feel that in my arms and know that we've done it and we're that much stronger for doing it. I'm so proud of us.
Love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for<3
See you soon handsome.
Mrs. Truelove<3
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
happiness..
That pretty much sums up my life right now, well, in a few weeks it will describe my life perfectly. But the past two days, although it has been a lot, I have loved more than anything getting our house ready and setting it up for Alex. Today, when I thought about it, knowing this would be the house he comes home to, this will be the house that we lay on the couch and watch television at night, this will be the house that we sit down at the table and eat dinner in together, it made me so undeniably happy. I never knew it was possible for one person to make you so happy, then he walked into my life and exceeded all expectations that I had.
A girl I have met over this deployment messaged me today. She wanted to nominate me on some facebook group as the "most positive person". This is what she wrote in the nomination. "I would like to nominate Audrey Truelove. I've never met her in person but we have become friends through Facebook due to our husbands being in the same unit. I think she is most positive because i've never seen one negative post on her Facebook and she goes 3+ weeks at a time without hearing from her husband. I have been fortunate enough to hear from my husband at least twice a week and it use to be hard for me to go two days without a phone call then I met Audrey and she told me about how she didn't hear from her Hubby often and it opened my eyes and gave me strength To go days without hearing from him. As much as some of us wives complain i've never seen one complaint on her wall and she always post positive/inspiring quotes." Don't get me wrong, there are those days that I don't want to move because I miss my husband so badly it hurts. But there have also been those times where I get an overwhelming sense of calmness that runs throughout my body and I know it is my husband and his strength pushing me through the day, then I know everything is going to be okay. It is hard to be negative when you are more in love than you could ever imagine and when those phone calls are precious gifts that you would not trade for anything in the world. The memories that my husband and I have made since the day that we have met are what get me through the hard times; the times I don't want to get out of bed. It's knowing that with every waking moment, I am just that much closer to being in his arms again and to living out the life that we have both always dreamed of...together. I love my life, all of the obstacles have just made us that much stronger and make us appreciate the moments that we have together even more so than before, because they really are precious.
As the saying goes "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." And that strength and courage is exactly what has got not only myself but my husband through this deployment.
I love you more than words could ever say, handsome. You are almost home, in the matter of weeks. I can't wait to hold you again and continue our future just the way it should be. I'll be seeing you.
Mrs. Truelove<3
A girl I have met over this deployment messaged me today. She wanted to nominate me on some facebook group as the "most positive person". This is what she wrote in the nomination. "I would like to nominate Audrey Truelove. I've never met her in person but we have become friends through Facebook due to our husbands being in the same unit. I think she is most positive because i've never seen one negative post on her Facebook and she goes 3+ weeks at a time without hearing from her husband. I have been fortunate enough to hear from my husband at least twice a week and it use to be hard for me to go two days without a phone call then I met Audrey and she told me about how she didn't hear from her Hubby often and it opened my eyes and gave me strength To go days without hearing from him. As much as some of us wives complain i've never seen one complaint on her wall and she always post positive/inspiring quotes." Don't get me wrong, there are those days that I don't want to move because I miss my husband so badly it hurts. But there have also been those times where I get an overwhelming sense of calmness that runs throughout my body and I know it is my husband and his strength pushing me through the day, then I know everything is going to be okay. It is hard to be negative when you are more in love than you could ever imagine and when those phone calls are precious gifts that you would not trade for anything in the world. The memories that my husband and I have made since the day that we have met are what get me through the hard times; the times I don't want to get out of bed. It's knowing that with every waking moment, I am just that much closer to being in his arms again and to living out the life that we have both always dreamed of...together. I love my life, all of the obstacles have just made us that much stronger and make us appreciate the moments that we have together even more so than before, because they really are precious.
As the saying goes "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." And that strength and courage is exactly what has got not only myself but my husband through this deployment.
I love you more than words could ever say, handsome. You are almost home, in the matter of weeks. I can't wait to hold you again and continue our future just the way it should be. I'll be seeing you.
Mrs. Truelove<3
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentine's Day..
Valentine's Day. Thousands of people celebrate, many hate it and some think it's entirely too played up. Me? I'm skipping it this year. No really, I've full on decided to skip it. Truth be told, I forgot about it this year. I "celebrated" Valentine's Day this year when I decorated hubby's box to send to him, that was me celebrating and sending all my love to him, that's good enough for me. This will be the second Valentine's day that we have missed in a row, I guess that's part of being in the military, huh? Today as I was making the 13 hour trip down to North Carolina, our new home, I realized how over done Valentine's day is. Maybe it's because my husband is half a world away, not with me on this special day, but then again..maybe it's not. Who am I kidding? That's exactly why I think it's over done, because my husband isn't with me. Here's the thing, I'm not saying this out of bitterness because my husband isn't here, like most people would think is the reason behind my opinion. No, that's not it at all. I'm saying it because why do you need ONE specific day to show how much you love your husband/wife/significant other. I would much rather have flowers on a random day just because than on the given day. (Babe, if you're reading this, that doesn't mean Valentine's Day flowers are forbidden ;] )
Valentine's day is the day that you show each other how special you are, when you remember the reasons you fell in love and what makes you stay in love with that person. I am in awe of my husband, every day. Each day I find a new thing about him that makes me fall in love with him, over and over again. His smile, those big brown eyes, his huge heart of gold, his strength, how gorgeous and sexy he is, and the list could go on. The time we've spent apart has made me see how perfectly amazing those things are and has made me appreciate them to teh fullest, more than what most people will never understand.
There's one thing that's better than Valentine's day. And that is the first day your eyes lock and you feel that embrace, the warmth of your skin touching and the kiss that takes your breath away; you see, it's that first moment where you stand in front of the love of your life after seven months of being apart and the world stands still. You can't celebrate that every day and only real, true, genuine love gets to celebrate that...an amazing thing I like to call...homecoming<3
I can't wait for that moment, it will be here so shortly and I can't wait to feel complete again and to celebrate Valentine's day every day that we wake up. I love you handsome, hurry home to me. I'm so proud of you!
Mrs. Truelove<3
Valentine's day is the day that you show each other how special you are, when you remember the reasons you fell in love and what makes you stay in love with that person. I am in awe of my husband, every day. Each day I find a new thing about him that makes me fall in love with him, over and over again. His smile, those big brown eyes, his huge heart of gold, his strength, how gorgeous and sexy he is, and the list could go on. The time we've spent apart has made me see how perfectly amazing those things are and has made me appreciate them to teh fullest, more than what most people will never understand.
There's one thing that's better than Valentine's day. And that is the first day your eyes lock and you feel that embrace, the warmth of your skin touching and the kiss that takes your breath away; you see, it's that first moment where you stand in front of the love of your life after seven months of being apart and the world stands still. You can't celebrate that every day and only real, true, genuine love gets to celebrate that...an amazing thing I like to call...homecoming<3
I can't wait for that moment, it will be here so shortly and I can't wait to feel complete again and to celebrate Valentine's day every day that we wake up. I love you handsome, hurry home to me. I'm so proud of you!
Mrs. Truelove<3
Friday, February 11, 2011
Anxiousness will be the death of me..
I think if I watch another homecoming video, I may pass out from an extreme anxiety attack. We use to sit in bed and watch homecoming videos every night before we went to bed. I'm not sure how he felt about them, but I know that I was aching inside. I was already longing for that moment, the moment where your eyes connect for the first time in 7 months, that first touch where it's like a wave of electricity going through your body. The first feel of that embrace, the one that you had longed for every night as you went to bed, knowing that even though you would wake up a day closer to it, it still wouldn't be there...YET. I already longed for that feeling of completeness again, because no matter which way you look at it, half of my heart and soul really is in Afghanistan with him, he takes it wherever he goes. And with every new video I watch on youtube or every homecoming picture I see on facebook, I get more and more anxious to have my husband home with me again. I long for that feeling, even more, every single day.
I'm a quote freak, I love quotes. I found one today that read: "Real love is when you go through the toughest storm and find yourself still holding hands when you come out." I would definitely say this has been the toughest storm that we have endured yet, but we are still trucking on hand in hand. That's how it will always be, you and me. I promised you forever, through the good and the bad; not just the happy but the sad. I have to say that I am so proud of us, I, of course, never doubted for a second that we could do it, but that moment when I jump into his arms and melt like jello will be the best feeling for many reasons. We can finally breathe a sigh of relief and say "we did it." WE...not you, not me, but WE. That's how it will be for the rest of our lives. I'm not sure what the rest of this life will throw at us, but I know we can conquer it together..hand in hand!
Almost done, see you soon handsome<3
Mrs. Truelove<3
Thursday, February 10, 2011
And the loneliness strikes again.
It will hit you like a ton of bricks and in the matter of seconds.
I miss him, so much, more than anyone could possibly imagine. I had to go to the hospital today, Callie was admitted into the hospital with Pneumonia. Poor thing, I hate to see her cry and hardly being able to breathe. It took me back to when Kelley about lost her life during pregnancy back when Alex was in boot camp. That was such a hard time because all I wanted was to feel his arms around me telling me everything was going to be okay. He has that way of making the world disappear and letting me know that everything is going to be okay, because he's there. God, I miss that man.
I'm so ready for him to be home, for us to really start our life and our family. To not have the thought of a the next time he's going to leave me hanging in the back of my mind. I know that added a lot of stress to the both of us after we got married. But I am so proud of him for everything that he is doing and I love him with every fiber in my body, more and more every single day. I'm so excited to start our family =) Kids are definitely my passion in life and Alex helped me to see that. I have always loved kids, I have always wanted to be a young mother, a mother that has an undeniable bond with their children. Alex only strengthened that desire when he came into my life. It was no longer I just wanted to be a mother, it was the feeling of having OUR children and raising them together, side by side, rocking out on the front porch as we watched our kids play in the yard. I can't wait for that moment when I tell him we are expecting and to see that huge grin on his face, one that I will never ever forget. I can't wait to have him talking to my belly, to see the excitement on his face as we hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time or when he feels the baby kicking in my stomach and watching him be the most amazing father alongside being the most amazing husband on earth.<3 I have heard so many people say that if you get married young, you're wasting your life or you're throwing your dreams away. It's actually quite the opposite. I didn't live until I was with him. I'm not throwing my dreams out because he is my dream come true. He pushes me to live out my dream, he encourages me every step of the way. Not to mention, we just dream up more dreams...together<3
We are almost done with this craziness. And I am undeniably excited to hold my handsome husband again. To start our lives, to wake up to him every day, to see that smile beyond the telephone again, and to be the best wife ever.
I miss him, so much, more than anyone could possibly imagine. I had to go to the hospital today, Callie was admitted into the hospital with Pneumonia. Poor thing, I hate to see her cry and hardly being able to breathe. It took me back to when Kelley about lost her life during pregnancy back when Alex was in boot camp. That was such a hard time because all I wanted was to feel his arms around me telling me everything was going to be okay. He has that way of making the world disappear and letting me know that everything is going to be okay, because he's there. God, I miss that man.
I'm so ready for him to be home, for us to really start our life and our family. To not have the thought of a the next time he's going to leave me hanging in the back of my mind. I know that added a lot of stress to the both of us after we got married. But I am so proud of him for everything that he is doing and I love him with every fiber in my body, more and more every single day. I'm so excited to start our family =) Kids are definitely my passion in life and Alex helped me to see that. I have always loved kids, I have always wanted to be a young mother, a mother that has an undeniable bond with their children. Alex only strengthened that desire when he came into my life. It was no longer I just wanted to be a mother, it was the feeling of having OUR children and raising them together, side by side, rocking out on the front porch as we watched our kids play in the yard. I can't wait for that moment when I tell him we are expecting and to see that huge grin on his face, one that I will never ever forget. I can't wait to have him talking to my belly, to see the excitement on his face as we hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time or when he feels the baby kicking in my stomach and watching him be the most amazing father alongside being the most amazing husband on earth.<3 I have heard so many people say that if you get married young, you're wasting your life or you're throwing your dreams away. It's actually quite the opposite. I didn't live until I was with him. I'm not throwing my dreams out because he is my dream come true. He pushes me to live out my dream, he encourages me every step of the way. Not to mention, we just dream up more dreams...together<3
We are almost done with this craziness. And I am undeniably excited to hold my handsome husband again. To start our lives, to wake up to him every day, to see that smile beyond the telephone again, and to be the best wife ever.
This is Anna's Valentine's Day card to us =) What can I say, he's my hero
See you soon, handsome.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I don't know how you do it.
That's a phrase I hear a lot; "I have no idea how you do it, I couldn't." Well the funny thing about that is..I don't really know how I do it either. Some days are much, much worse than others, yet that lonely and empty feeling never really budges. There are days that I don't even want to get out of bed, just let me pull the covers over my head for today, let's just skip today and go to tomorrow, please? But then my husband crosses my mind. And it's no longer about me. "How does HE do it." Patience wears then very quickly when all you can do is sit and wait, obsessively checking your phone and never letting it leave your sight. It's hard, there's not a doubt in this world about that. But...that's on this side of the court. What about on the opposite side? Can you imagine being in such an underdeveloped country, surrounded by nothing but unfamiliar territory, sleeping on some makeshift bed, away from the world you knew, the world you lived everyday, not having the homefield advantage so to speak? I couldn't. And to know that it's my husband out there putting himself on the line, is everything but an easy feeling in my stomach. But here we are, just a few short weeks away from being done with this deployment and he still manages to be the strength that keeps me strong. I don't know how he does it, but that courage is only one of many things that makes me fall in love with that boy over and over again. There are the moments when I finally hear that voice after weeks and all I want to do is break down and cry. But, I don't because I feel guilty. I feel guilty for putting those tears on him, I should be the one lifting him up, I should be the one keeping him strong. Hehas enough stress put on him having to deal with his job, I don't want him to have to worry about his wife being miserable on some days, so much, that she can't even find the strength to crawl out of bed. But there are those moments that he says exactly the right thing, without even having the slightest clue as to what he's doing.
Speaking of that amazing man, he called me this morning. Our conversation was amazing and just what both of us needed, I believe. I have learned so much about not only myself this deployment but about our relationship, our strength, the love that we share and so much more. You always hear that the first year of marriage is the hardest. Take that, add 7000 miles and the face of danger and then recalculate that amount of stress. In our first year of marriage we will have been together about 3-4 months of that. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and while that is true in all aspects, it sure does make the rest of you lonely. I miss waking up to that gorgeous smile of his, seeing those big brown eyes staring at me. Watching him get ready in the morning, writing sweet little love notes on the mirror or dry erase board, seeing how long it takes the other to see it. I miss getting those calls from him after work and takling to him until he pulled in the driveway, only to open the door and get that amazing kiss from him :) It's those little things that you never would imagine to be the world to you, but they are and those memories alone have gotten me through this deployment. The thought that one day, in the near future, I will have that back in my arms means more than the world to me. This deployment has taught me not to take for granted those small things because you never know when they may be taken from you. I appreciate every thing that my husband does. I have more respect for that man, for his selflessness, his heart of gold, his courage and strength while facing fear in the face; yet he continues to do so all the while keeping ME positive and strong. He makes me want to be a better me and he is all of my hopes and dreams. My life begins and ends with his love and even with 7000 miles in between us, that feeling still stands and holds truer than most could ever possibly imagine to have in a lifetime.
We're almsot done handsome. I'm so proud of you and all that you have done for us and our future! You are that reason for waking up in the morning and I can't wait to have you back in my arms. You're my hero. And just remember that no matter where you are, no matter what you're doing, you have a wife halfway around the world that loves every single thing about you. You may just be another person in this world, but to me you are the world. See you soon<3
Mrs. Truelove<3
Speaking of that amazing man, he called me this morning. Our conversation was amazing and just what both of us needed, I believe. I have learned so much about not only myself this deployment but about our relationship, our strength, the love that we share and so much more. You always hear that the first year of marriage is the hardest. Take that, add 7000 miles and the face of danger and then recalculate that amount of stress. In our first year of marriage we will have been together about 3-4 months of that. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and while that is true in all aspects, it sure does make the rest of you lonely. I miss waking up to that gorgeous smile of his, seeing those big brown eyes staring at me. Watching him get ready in the morning, writing sweet little love notes on the mirror or dry erase board, seeing how long it takes the other to see it. I miss getting those calls from him after work and takling to him until he pulled in the driveway, only to open the door and get that amazing kiss from him :) It's those little things that you never would imagine to be the world to you, but they are and those memories alone have gotten me through this deployment. The thought that one day, in the near future, I will have that back in my arms means more than the world to me. This deployment has taught me not to take for granted those small things because you never know when they may be taken from you. I appreciate every thing that my husband does. I have more respect for that man, for his selflessness, his heart of gold, his courage and strength while facing fear in the face; yet he continues to do so all the while keeping ME positive and strong. He makes me want to be a better me and he is all of my hopes and dreams. My life begins and ends with his love and even with 7000 miles in between us, that feeling still stands and holds truer than most could ever possibly imagine to have in a lifetime.
We're almsot done handsome. I'm so proud of you and all that you have done for us and our future! You are that reason for waking up in the morning and I can't wait to have you back in my arms. You're my hero. And just remember that no matter where you are, no matter what you're doing, you have a wife halfway around the world that loves every single thing about you. You may just be another person in this world, but to me you are the world. See you soon<3
Mrs. Truelove<3
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Our..not so normal..fairytale
On May 8th, 2010, I married my best friend, the love of my life, my rock, my other half. It was a dream come true, but more than I could have possibly ever dreamt of. Our marriage, however, is not your normal every day marriage you come across these days. Where did it all begin? Well, you're fixing to find out.
Alex was truly an answered prayer from God. About a week before I had met him, I was at a church retreat called T.E.C. (Teens Encounter Christ). At the time I had a boyfriend, but things just..they just weren't right. I prayed to God to give me a sign, give me a sign that I wasn't where I was supposed to be at in my life and that I needed to make a change. While I knew the answer all along, it became more apparent to me the moment I saw Alex. I first laid eyes on my handsome husband as I was pulling up to a haunted house, October 2007, with my cousin Allie. I had just gotten off of work at CVS and had blue jeans, a Michigan sweatshirt (ironically enough, the birthplace of my husband) and some old Tennis shoes; as you can tell, I was there to impress no one. As we pulled up and got out of the car, we noticed a group of mutual friends standing around waiting for the others of their group. Turns out, Alex was with these mutual friends of ours. I never once talked to him, in fact, he stood away from the group with his arms crossed, not at all aware that my eyes kept drifting towards him. I just couldn't explain why I was so drawn to him. Time went on and his group went in to the haunted house and we were left waiting for our others, needless to say, a part of me was rather disappointed I didn't get to go in with that group. A couple of weeks passed and I still found myself thinking about this mystery guy; who was he? what was his name? My mind just wouldn't leave him. I broke it off with my ex, it just wasn't happening. A few days later, I saw Alex on facebook, on one of the mutual friends profiles. I was so nervous just looking at his picture, seeing that oh so gorgeous smile. I just kept thinking to myself "Dare I add him? No, I couldn't. He'd think I was some crazy stalker, for sure!" But I just couldn't help myself...I added him. I left it at that, just a simple facebook invitation to be my friend, if things went from there, then that was out of my control. Another week or so passed and I just had the urge to message him, I just couldn't help myself anymore. What was his first response to my message? "You're beautiful." I was already swept off my feet, head over heels in love with this boy.
We continued talking and strengthening our relationship online. We then moved to texting and I found myself obsessively checking my phone while I was at school to see if I had a message from this guy, this guy who had swept me off my feet at his first words to me. Finally, we talked on the phone. I can still feel those butterflies as if it were yesterday. I laid in bed and smiled the entire time that we talked. His voice was so perfect, so amazing, so strong...so right. We talked about everything under the sun, from God to family to childhood; from our past to our future, hopes and dreams, our perfect date (mine was to just go sit under the stars like no one had ever done for me before) ...everything. He had went away for training for the first few weeks of December, oh yeah, did I mention that? He was training for the Army. I never once even doubted that for a second. Some people would have ran at that moment, not me, I was hooked, I was there for good. He came back and I was still there. I think he was really surprised at that point that I had stuck around and waited. If he only knew that between every thought of him, were just more thoughts running through my mind of him. Dare I admit that I was in love? No, I couldn't be....but boy was I ever. So now we reach New Years. The first time 'seeing' him, yet it felt like I had known him forever and a day. I couldn't stop myself from smiling constantly, even my friends could tell that I was just so insanely happy, they knew it was something special. Our first "date..date" was just indescribable. He will still tell you I owe him a movie, we drove all the way to town, only to turn around and go back without watching a movie. I had just gotten out of CVS and I was in my insanely ugly uniform, he claims I looked beautiful =) Guess where he took me? To see the stars. So a few days later, we go to the movies and he officially asks me out. I remember the stop sign we were stopped at while he was asking, actually. I was on cloud nine and nothing could ever compare. Days, weeks, months passed and I was still crazy at the sight of his name on my phone or the sound of his voice or the touch of his hand. It was more real than anything I could have ever imagined.
And then the day comes. This is the part where the fairytale becomes...not so average. "I want to join the Marines." BAM, there it is. Six months in and the distance was really going to be there. I'm not sure what I felt. Scared? Of course, terrified was probably more like the word. But there was never a moment that I wanted to run away because of that, if anything, I wanted to just run into his arms and stay there forever. Nothing...not even hundreds of miles between...was going to get me to leave. This is where things got hard. The Marines threw us a day that he would be leaving, and then he didn't. They threw another date at us, but changed their minds yet again. We played their little 'date game' for about a year. I won't lie, it was a hard year. Having the thought of him leaving, yet you don't know exactly when, hanging over your head for so long is hard. Don't get me wrong, I was so happy that I had extra time with him, but it was almost as if I wanted to just get it over with already and have him back in my arms. It bothered him a lot too. He always felt like he was letting me down, little did he know, I was more proud of him for even attempting to do such a brave, selfless thing and all for the good of others, himself, me and our future.
August 23, 2009, I drove away with him in my rear view mirror, tears streaming down my eyes. I had no idea where this journey was going to take us, how hard it would be, but what I did know is that I would be right there beside him no matter what, through it all. We maintained our relationship through the scarce letters; some good, some bad, some happy, some sad. But 3 months later on November 19th I saw his face for the first time in three months. I had NO idea what to expect, other than a change individual as read in my letters. He hugged me, kissed me, told me he had missed me and that he loved me and every ounce of worry just flooded from my body. It's amazing how that can happen, truly amazing. He came back home for about two weeks, two of some of the most amazing weeks of my life, might I add. He got down on his knee and proposed to me December 6, 2009, one day before he left for SOI training; talk about a whirlwhind of emotions! It was breathtaking. I was the happiest girl alive, yet he got ripped away from me the next day. But..we made it. Just like I knew we would. I planned our wedding while he was away, seeking every possible ounce of his input I can between the weeks in the field, training, late night phone calls, and few skype dates we had; but it got done. As said before, on May 8, 2010 I married my hero...literally. Not just because of his job, but because he has overcome so much in his life, looked fear straight in the eye and came out on top to be an undeniably amazing man. Two weeks later he was off to train for his upcoming mission: Afghanistan.
Afghanistan. Yeah, not a word many have to think about in their first year, let alone first few months of marriage. It's been a crazy, emotional, roller coaster of a ride thus far, believe me. Average communication for us is scarce, but I can tell you, I have fallen more in love with that man every day that he has been gone than anyone could ever possibly imagine. We are five months into this roller coaster of hell and I cannot wait to see my husbands face again. I feel as if a part of me is missing...and it is. It is half a world away, all too far away from where it should be. Am I scared? Of course, terrified every day of getting that phone call that would forever change my life, the one that makes me sick to my stomach thinking about. I have laid in bed some nights sobbing uncontrollably just thinking about what I would do, and I couldn't even begin to tell you what. But soon he will be stepping off of that bus to me, he made me a promise and I know he wouldn't break it. He has my heart and he always will. He went off to protect this country and I was left here to protect his heart, and that's exactly what I'll do.
They say the distance will break you, but it has only made us stronger. I live for his happiness and I know he lives for mine. He is my heart and soul and no matter where this world takes him, I will be right there beside him through it all. I guess this takes the whole "for better or worse, in good times and bad" vow to a whole new level, but we've conquered this distance, because our love, well our love will succeed....against all odds.
Mrs. Truelove<3
Alex was truly an answered prayer from God. About a week before I had met him, I was at a church retreat called T.E.C. (Teens Encounter Christ). At the time I had a boyfriend, but things just..they just weren't right. I prayed to God to give me a sign, give me a sign that I wasn't where I was supposed to be at in my life and that I needed to make a change. While I knew the answer all along, it became more apparent to me the moment I saw Alex. I first laid eyes on my handsome husband as I was pulling up to a haunted house, October 2007, with my cousin Allie. I had just gotten off of work at CVS and had blue jeans, a Michigan sweatshirt (ironically enough, the birthplace of my husband) and some old Tennis shoes; as you can tell, I was there to impress no one. As we pulled up and got out of the car, we noticed a group of mutual friends standing around waiting for the others of their group. Turns out, Alex was with these mutual friends of ours. I never once talked to him, in fact, he stood away from the group with his arms crossed, not at all aware that my eyes kept drifting towards him. I just couldn't explain why I was so drawn to him. Time went on and his group went in to the haunted house and we were left waiting for our others, needless to say, a part of me was rather disappointed I didn't get to go in with that group. A couple of weeks passed and I still found myself thinking about this mystery guy; who was he? what was his name? My mind just wouldn't leave him. I broke it off with my ex, it just wasn't happening. A few days later, I saw Alex on facebook, on one of the mutual friends profiles. I was so nervous just looking at his picture, seeing that oh so gorgeous smile. I just kept thinking to myself "Dare I add him? No, I couldn't. He'd think I was some crazy stalker, for sure!" But I just couldn't help myself...I added him. I left it at that, just a simple facebook invitation to be my friend, if things went from there, then that was out of my control. Another week or so passed and I just had the urge to message him, I just couldn't help myself anymore. What was his first response to my message? "You're beautiful." I was already swept off my feet, head over heels in love with this boy.
We continued talking and strengthening our relationship online. We then moved to texting and I found myself obsessively checking my phone while I was at school to see if I had a message from this guy, this guy who had swept me off my feet at his first words to me. Finally, we talked on the phone. I can still feel those butterflies as if it were yesterday. I laid in bed and smiled the entire time that we talked. His voice was so perfect, so amazing, so strong...so right. We talked about everything under the sun, from God to family to childhood; from our past to our future, hopes and dreams, our perfect date (mine was to just go sit under the stars like no one had ever done for me before) ...everything. He had went away for training for the first few weeks of December, oh yeah, did I mention that? He was training for the Army. I never once even doubted that for a second. Some people would have ran at that moment, not me, I was hooked, I was there for good. He came back and I was still there. I think he was really surprised at that point that I had stuck around and waited. If he only knew that between every thought of him, were just more thoughts running through my mind of him. Dare I admit that I was in love? No, I couldn't be....but boy was I ever. So now we reach New Years. The first time 'seeing' him, yet it felt like I had known him forever and a day. I couldn't stop myself from smiling constantly, even my friends could tell that I was just so insanely happy, they knew it was something special. Our first "date..date" was just indescribable. He will still tell you I owe him a movie, we drove all the way to town, only to turn around and go back without watching a movie. I had just gotten out of CVS and I was in my insanely ugly uniform, he claims I looked beautiful =) Guess where he took me? To see the stars. So a few days later, we go to the movies and he officially asks me out. I remember the stop sign we were stopped at while he was asking, actually. I was on cloud nine and nothing could ever compare. Days, weeks, months passed and I was still crazy at the sight of his name on my phone or the sound of his voice or the touch of his hand. It was more real than anything I could have ever imagined.
And then the day comes. This is the part where the fairytale becomes...not so average. "I want to join the Marines." BAM, there it is. Six months in and the distance was really going to be there. I'm not sure what I felt. Scared? Of course, terrified was probably more like the word. But there was never a moment that I wanted to run away because of that, if anything, I wanted to just run into his arms and stay there forever. Nothing...not even hundreds of miles between...was going to get me to leave. This is where things got hard. The Marines threw us a day that he would be leaving, and then he didn't. They threw another date at us, but changed their minds yet again. We played their little 'date game' for about a year. I won't lie, it was a hard year. Having the thought of him leaving, yet you don't know exactly when, hanging over your head for so long is hard. Don't get me wrong, I was so happy that I had extra time with him, but it was almost as if I wanted to just get it over with already and have him back in my arms. It bothered him a lot too. He always felt like he was letting me down, little did he know, I was more proud of him for even attempting to do such a brave, selfless thing and all for the good of others, himself, me and our future.
August 23, 2009, I drove away with him in my rear view mirror, tears streaming down my eyes. I had no idea where this journey was going to take us, how hard it would be, but what I did know is that I would be right there beside him no matter what, through it all. We maintained our relationship through the scarce letters; some good, some bad, some happy, some sad. But 3 months later on November 19th I saw his face for the first time in three months. I had NO idea what to expect, other than a change individual as read in my letters. He hugged me, kissed me, told me he had missed me and that he loved me and every ounce of worry just flooded from my body. It's amazing how that can happen, truly amazing. He came back home for about two weeks, two of some of the most amazing weeks of my life, might I add. He got down on his knee and proposed to me December 6, 2009, one day before he left for SOI training; talk about a whirlwhind of emotions! It was breathtaking. I was the happiest girl alive, yet he got ripped away from me the next day. But..we made it. Just like I knew we would. I planned our wedding while he was away, seeking every possible ounce of his input I can between the weeks in the field, training, late night phone calls, and few skype dates we had; but it got done. As said before, on May 8, 2010 I married my hero...literally. Not just because of his job, but because he has overcome so much in his life, looked fear straight in the eye and came out on top to be an undeniably amazing man. Two weeks later he was off to train for his upcoming mission: Afghanistan.
Afghanistan. Yeah, not a word many have to think about in their first year, let alone first few months of marriage. It's been a crazy, emotional, roller coaster of a ride thus far, believe me. Average communication for us is scarce, but I can tell you, I have fallen more in love with that man every day that he has been gone than anyone could ever possibly imagine. We are five months into this roller coaster of hell and I cannot wait to see my husbands face again. I feel as if a part of me is missing...and it is. It is half a world away, all too far away from where it should be. Am I scared? Of course, terrified every day of getting that phone call that would forever change my life, the one that makes me sick to my stomach thinking about. I have laid in bed some nights sobbing uncontrollably just thinking about what I would do, and I couldn't even begin to tell you what. But soon he will be stepping off of that bus to me, he made me a promise and I know he wouldn't break it. He has my heart and he always will. He went off to protect this country and I was left here to protect his heart, and that's exactly what I'll do.
They say the distance will break you, but it has only made us stronger. I live for his happiness and I know he lives for mine. He is my heart and soul and no matter where this world takes him, I will be right there beside him through it all. I guess this takes the whole "for better or worse, in good times and bad" vow to a whole new level, but we've conquered this distance, because our love, well our love will succeed....against all odds.
Mrs. Truelove<3
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