All you need is love..

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

There couldn't be more truth in that quote. I know if it wasn't for my husband, the love he has for me and the love that we share, there is not a chance I would have gotten through this deployment. It was that love that gave me the strength to get up and get on to the next day, and it was the love I have for him that gave me the courage to face all of the fears, the nights that are so lonely it haunts you, and all of the tears that come at the sight of a letter from that far away land or the image of a Marine on the television that develops a pit in the bottom of your stomach. No matter what it was, the love that we share is what got not only me, but him through this as well.

The past few days have been stress filled and it's not been fun at all. The future, the unknown, it's all a little terrifying in ways. What am I going to do? Am I going to be good at it? Is my husband going to be proud of me? How's it going to happen? All questions that run through my head. When I finally get outside of my head and calm myself down, I know that everything is going to be fine because...all you need is love. I have that love. I have my husband. That's all I need to get me through this life. We can do it and we will do it. I can't wait to ride out this journey of life with my husband by my side, hand in hand. He makes me the best person I can be, he supports me in all of my hopes and dreams, he's the reason for all of my hopes and dreams and for that I am eternally grateful.

Today's a great day. Single digits baby, single digits until our puzzle is complete again =) I CANNOT WAIT to hold my husband again!! Almost here, thank you Lord!

Mrs. Truelove<3

A woman of few words...

I'm a woman of few words tonight. I've wracked my brain as to what I should write about, but there's not a centralized thing I can focus my brain on right now. All I know is....I want my husband. That's it. I just want my husband back. I want to be able to hold him, I want to go to sleep beside him, feeling his heartbeat and knowing he's safely beside me and that he WILL be there in the morning. This all still seems like a dream to me. Almost down to single digits until I see my husband, until I'm complete again, it feels all too surreal. Someone please pinch me. All I know at this very moment in time, I just want my husband back.

I've been going through all of our old pictures, these pictures, these memories is exactly what has gotten me through all of my lonely nights.

Look at that smile...I miss that gorgeous smile.

I miss those amazing kisses.

I miss us.

I miss holding his hand.

I miss that embrace.

I miss all the little things, I never thought that they'd mean everything. 

Yeah, I miss you and I wish you were here.

Good night handsome, another lonely night conquered.

Mrs. Truelove<3

Crazy girl

I heard this on the radio today, first time I've heard it, but I LOVE it. Reminds me of something my husband would tell me <3

Baby why you wanna cry?
You really oughta know that I
Just have to walk away sometimes
We’re gonna do what lovers do
We’re gonna have a fight or two
But I ain’t ever changin’ my mind

Crazy girl, don’t you know that I love you?
And I wouldn’t dream of goin’ nowhere
Silly woman, come here, let me hold you
Have I told you lately?
I love you like crazy, girl

Wouldn’t miss a single day
I’d probably just fade away
Without you, I’d lose my mind
Before you ever came along
I was livin’ life all wrong
Smartest thing I ever did was make you all mine

Crazy girl, don’t you know that I love you?
And I wouldn’t dream of goin’ nowhere
Silly woman, come here, let me hold you
Have I told you lately?
I love you like crazy, girl

Crazy girl

Crazy girl, don’t you know that I love you?
And I wouldn’t dream of goin’ nowhere
Silly woman, come here, let me hold you
Have I told you lately,
I love you like 

Crazy, girl, don’t you know that I love you?
And I wouldn’t dream of goin’ nowhere
Silly woman, come here, let me hold you
Have I told you lately?
I love you like crazy, girl

Like crazy
Crazy girl
Like crazy
Crazy girl
Like crazy



Mrs. Truelove<3


I love you like crazy, baby.

The "Real" World

As I sit here and daydream about the day I get to hold my husband again, The Real World is on television. So what classifies you as living in "The real world" these days? Is it going out to clubs? Or the excessive drinking? Or maybe it's the people engulfed in the types of clothes they wear or cars that they drive. Too many people are wrapped up in the Hollywood lifestyle of the world these days. All of those shows, all of those people that have more pairs of shoes than days in a year, the people who can't truly love someone because they are so wrapped up in their own selfish wants, that's not real, that's far from it. 

"Five-hundred channels and there ain't much on tonight

Except reality shows about some folk's so-called lives

A pretty girl cries 'cause she don't get a rose

But she'll find love next year on her own show

And they call that real

Real is a hand you hold fifty-seven years

Real is a band of gold tremblin' with fear

It's the first long tear down an old man's face, watchin' his angel slippin' away

His heart's so broke, it's never gonna heal"

That's what is real. Reality is what has slapped me in the face for the past seven months. The fear of never knowing if I would see my husband again. It's possessing the thought that at the age of 20, I could be a war widow, I could lose the one thing that made this whole world make sense. "Real" is the fear I had breathing down my neck with every phone call wondering what was going to be on the other end. Real was opening a letter from 7000 miles away and seeing sand from a whole new world fall out and onto the floor, only to uncover a letter with words that I lived for until the next phone call or letter, both which came few and far between. Real was knowing what life I faced when I slipped that silver band onto my husbands hand, but knowing that no matter where this crazy world took us, we were in it, together...forever. Real isn't being inseparable, it's about having 7000 miles between you and nothing changes. It's falling more and more in love with the love of your life, even when you can't see them and wake up to them every day. That's what real is. That's what I live for and that's what my husband and I share. 

It's real, it's alive, it reaches down to the depths of your souls and makes you yearn for more. It touches every fiber of your body, it hurts when they hurt, laughs when they laugh and everything in between. It is something that people search their whole lives for, yet many fall short. And at 20 years old, I am lucky enough to say that I have found my one true soul mate, the one that I will grow old with, the one that I will ride out this crazy, tragic, sometimes awful magic, beautiful life with.

Real is forever, for always & no matter what.

Mrs. Truelove<3

190 days and counting..

190 days. 27 weeks. 6 3/4 months. However you want to look at it, it's all too long that I have seen, held, kissed my husband. But this roller coaster ride is slowly coming to an end...because he's S-A-F-E. Who would have thought that a small four letter word could bring so much happiness and comfort to one person. For the past seven months it hasn't been that word, but the lack thereof, that has kept me wide awake at nights staring into the dark, staring and hoping that at any moment I would look over and see my husband laying beside me. It has been the lack of that word that has made me cringe at the very thought of the unknown and the possibility of never seeing my husband again. It has been the reason to all the tears, for the insanely over obsession of my phone and the extreme amount of happiness when I see that reoccurring odd number pop up on my phone or when I see that envelope sticking out of the mailbox that says "free mail" on it. But now, now that small four letter word means more than anything in the world to me. It means that my husband IS COMING HOME. It means that in just a matter of a few short days, I get to jump into the arms of the one person that makes everything alright and we get to continue our forever and chase all of our hopes and dreams together; hand in hand.


As if getting that news today wasn't great enough...we got a homecoming date today =) FINALLY. It's set (yeah, 'set' is having a little too much faith in the military) and I know when I will get my hero back. Soon, if I had three more fingers (considering that it's now 12:01 am), that'd be perfect =) I'm as happy as winnie pooh with a big ol' pot of honey in his hand..yeah, weird simile, I know. You get it though. The light at the end of this long, winding, tunnel seems to be coming to an end. Honestly, it seems surreal to me. After 190 days of not being in my husbands arms, not kissing him good night, not being able to hold his hand or see that beautiful crooked smile of his, I will be able to have ALL of that and more in just a few short days. I. Can't. Wait.


If we're going to be honest here, I never thought that this day would come. That dreaded September day hindered every possible thought of finishing this thing. But we did it, just like I knew we could and I knew we would. There's not a doubt about it, I have fallen more and more in love with that man with every passing day, even with the 7000 miles in between us. Our time apart has made me appreciate every waking second that we have together. He's the strongest man I know. He's the strongest, most courageous, most amazing man in the entire world and he's MINE....forever. What could make a girl happier? =)

"If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes."

You did it. I love you. Forever.


Mrs. Truelove<3 

7000 miles between

For the past seven months there has been 7000 miles between the two halves of my heart. It has been a long, lonely, painful seven months and they are slowly coming to an end. Communication has greatly picked up between my husband and I and I love every second of it. It's amazing to get three phone calls in a row after going weeks without hearing anything the past 6 1/2 months. I can't even begin to explain the feeling when I got a call at 5:16am saying "I won't be able to call for a few days, I love you, I'll talk to you soon.", only to get a call a few hours later saying "I had some extra time and I just wanted to call and tell you that I love you." =) Yes, I will never be able to put into words the way that felt. Truly amazing though =)

He's almost in the safe zone. THANK GOD! He will be out of harms way and into my arms shortly. Although, it seems as if time has stood still the past few days, it's rather frustrating. I'm to the point...well who am I kidding, I've been at this point the entirety of the deployment...where I just want my husband NOW. I am sick of the lonely nights, I'm sick of not being able to wake up beside him, I'm sick of not being able to hear his voice whenever I please or getting that wake up kiss in the morning. But, no matter how frustrating it is and no matter how impatient I am, time is passing by with every second and I'm just that much closer to being in his arms<3 I can't wait, I'll finally be complete again.

I love you so much babe! I'm so proud of you, more proud than you could ever know! You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You're my heart, my soul, my best friend and my hero. We are almost done.

"Without you in my arms, I feel an emptiness in my soul. I find myself searching the crowds for your face - I know it's an impossibility, but I cannot help myself." 

Mrs. Truelove<3

Frustrated BEYOND belief

Frustration is one of the utmost worst feelings I think I could ever have. However, that pretty much sums up today as a whole for me. Sure, it's the first day of March and that should be an oh so exciting moment for me...and it was...until I got about four different possible dates as to when I'll see my husband again. That's what turned this whole day...to complete shit. (yeah, excuse my language) You see, waiting seven months to see my husband again hasn't been what kills me, I could wait forever for him, I would and I will. What kills you is the constant feeling of the "unknown". Not knowing when the next time you will hear his voice is, not knowing when you will be able to feel him laying next to you in bed, not knowing when or if he is in any kind of danger, yet all the while knowing he's in danger constantly. I had to come to terms with the fact that I could be widowed at the age of 20. Not every 20 year old girl has to face that thought, and believe you me, it is one that is always haunting my mind; because whether I like it or not, I have absolutely NO control over any of it, I just have to sit back, watch and wait.

So back to my crappy day. I heard dates ranging from early to late, near, far and everything in between. At this point, I DON'T CARE when he's coming home, I just want him HOME and I want to know a round about date to look forward to. Just God, PLEASE give me something to lean towards. I'm tired of being alone, I'm tired of feeling incomplete, I'm tired of having this huge pit in the bottom of my stomach.

I had a feeling he was going to call and right before Titan and I were fixing to lay down, he did. Boy was I beyond happy to hear that voice. Then I hear "I only have a few minutes." A few minutes?! A FEW MINUTES?! But I have soooooooo much to tell you I can't possibly sum it all up in a few minutes! Not to mention within our seven minute phone call, the satellite phone cut out only six times. Perfect. Before I knew it he was telling me he had to go, and yet we had not had a real conversation...at all. And the frustration starts flowing again. Here's to hoping that I really will wake up to a phone call like he said he would do. Although, I know it's nearly impossible to keep a promise when you're three worlds away...I get it and I've never once blamed him for any of that, for any of this, for any of my feelings...ever.

All in all, I just want my husband. It gets to a point where you don't want to be strong anymore, you don't want to be positive and you just want to sleep the days away, literally and wake up in those arms. And let me tell you, if I could...I would. I know lots of people say "don't wish your life away" but what kind of life am I living without my husband? I'm not. I don't think he understands the amount of frustration I'm feeling, and maybe he doesn't need to because he's still there and he's still got to focus; I guess that's why my guts are being poured out onto this computer screen as if it's going to make anything better. Whether it feels like it or not, time is still ticking away and time is just getting closer and closer until I'm with my husband again. THANK GOD.

F*** YOU DEPLOYMENT. I'm so done with you. Give me my husband.

Mrs. Truelove<3

P.S. I really do love you more.